New shoes and a new commitment

I think I need new running shoes. (FYI did you know that I'm not allowed to say "I think" in work situations? Literally? And it turns out I say it a lot, who knew?) Yesterday during the Mountain Goat my shoes just didn't feel....right. And given that I can't really remember when I bought them or how many miles I've put on them I think it's best if I go and buy new ones so I can keep track and not go over 400 or so miles. This idea probably also spurred by the fact that when I went with my friend to get shoes for her at Dick's Sporting Goods I saw these:

Brooks Ravenna 3

Of course I died instantly because they look awesome! I'd be so fast in those! Like Speedy Gonzales! Clearly the entire reason I've been so slow is because my shoes have no life or vibrancy! I've been running in these for the last two years (not the same exact pair, obviously...which is another word I can't say at work, ha!):

Brooks Ravenna 2

And they're kind of mega boring in comparison. Although the new ones wouldn't show dirt as much and I like when my dirt shows ;)

I have no idea what the difference is between the 2 and 3 other than the fact that the yellow and black ones look cooler. And since I never pay attention to what my shoes look like this is a weird thing for me but I like them so I want them! Although I am toying with the idea of getting refitted since I haven't been fitted since I started running and sometimes I feel like I'd like a little less shoe. So many choices though, sigh.

Also, for the record I could buy the exact same shoes I have on the Brooks website for $35 less than the $100 they normally are (I'm guessing they will be discontinuing the Ravenna 2's) but I'm not a cheater! Fleet Feet does so much more than just sell shoes for the running community here and I like keeping my money local when I can.

(I just went to check my shoes and saw that the treads are worn down at the forefront as I'm typically a toe striker and that's where I was feeling like I was lacking the cushion and support I wanted. I'm willing to bet the insole is worn out in that area as well. New shoes it is!).



I did a lot of thinking during the race yesterday and I really feel like I need to be more committed to my running. The last thing I want is to run the Boilermaker with the same exact results because I would be devastated. I have a few weeks before the Fleet Feet runs start at the lake on Sunday mornings so I need to make it a point to run 3-4 miles a day at least 3 days a week with a long run on Saturday or Sunday that I will increase by a mile or so every week. I've been pretty wishy washy about my training which worked two years ago when I was running more often but isn't working right now. I can't expect results without the work so I just need to buckle down and do it!

When I can walk again, that is. Yikes.

Mountain Goat 2012: A Tale from the Back of the Pack

If you had told me 2 years ago before I started running that I am competitive I would have told you were were crazy. Besides a few years on the tennis team in high school I didn't participate in organized sports and as far as my grades, I could care less. As long as I got A's without putting too much effort into it (aka not studying because I learned early on I'm allergic to it) I could care less what anyone else got in comparison to me.

But running has brought out my inner competitive nature. I am always in the solid middle of the pack, nowhere near the front or the back, but I was always faster than most of the people I ran with. And I never really thought too much of it until someone got to close to me and then it became my mission to beat them.

That being said, it's been really hard mentally to be in the back of the pack. And by the back I mean the BACK. As in finishing with the last of the group. It sucks but I'm trying to find the good in it (because the police coming by to tell you that you need to start running on the sidewalks and weaving your way through spectators is NOT good. At all. It kind of makes you want to cry).

Today's race was really slow and I think it was because it was pretty hot compared to what I've been running in and due to being sick the last two weeks I haven't run at all. I really couldn't afford to miss two long runs but I had to so I'm not sure I was fully preapred. But hey, I finished it, right?

I'm preferring to focus on the good things of being in the back of the pack during my 10 mile hilly traipse through Syracuse today, also known as the Mountain Goat:

1) More people cheer for you when you're at the end and they cheer for you by name or number (depending on what's on your bib). This was AWESOME because I thanked every single group that cheered for me, something I can't do when I'm going faster because I'm more focused and in a bigger pack so they wouldn't hear me anyway. And I got to give a lot more high fives to a lot more little kids. That's kind of my favorite part of a whole race :) I appreciate spectators so much because they give me so much energy and inspiration to push my hardest.

2) I always end up at my own pace in a race which means I'm not running with anyone I know so I talk to other runners and cheer them on around me but that happened a lot more today (and at my half marathon in March) than it has in the past. I actually met a woman who ran the Boilermaker last year for the first time and said she hated it! Blasphemy! That race is awesome! But maybe it's because I grew up near there so seeing my family and high school friends and even my babysitter (aka second mom) from when I was little cheering me on is why I love it so much?

3) I was able to notice a lot more of the course today than I did when I ran it two years ago. There is so much preparation and community that goes into this race and it's great to notice that. A doctor who I used to do surgery with a few years ago when I was still a vet tech lives on the course and he always has a big party so I got to wave to him (two years ago I got a wretched stitch in my shoulder by his house so I was trying not to die when I passed it). At mile 4 or 5 someone strings a bunch of Mountain Goat shirts from past races hanging above the road so I was able to look at a lot more of them than I was before. At mile 5 or 6 when going through Onondaga Park there is a company who works with children (I forgot in what regard) that puts almost a quarter mile of bright blue and silver pinwheels in the ground on both side of the course that spin in the wind. I had forgotten about that part but it's one of my favorites. Going up the notoriously hardest hill of the race, Colvin (which is really a looooong road that just keeps climbing and I cursed it fully) people write motivational things in chalk to get you focused on that instead of the climb (my favorite was "It's Tiger Blood Time!". No joke it was). And then right before Thorden, the last hill of the race, there was a long line of Celtic Dancers dancing and the hill itself is COVERED in a huge rainbow explosion of motivational things. They draw on it to a lesser degree for the training runs and I always get a little teary because they say things like, "I run because..." and then a huge list of reasons why going up the hill. All of these things add up to why, without a doubt, this is my favorite race of the entire year.

4) No one was blocking my way out of the finish chute. The 10 car pile up of people when you cross the finish line is the worst when all you want to do is get some water asap and sit down for a minute and I was able to get out pretty quickly.

So there are the positives that I am writing down to negate the fact that if I didn't feel so awful I would be kicking and stamping my feet like a 4 year old because it took me longer to run ten miles than it did to run my first half marathon. And why am I feeling lousy? I have no idea but I suspect dehydration. Again. I felt ok during the race although I was kind of thirsty going into it despite drinking 16oz of water beforehard (and quite a bit yesterday) but after I finished and walked a half mile back to my car (parking was awful this year) I started to feel really nauseous. I'll spare you the details but by the time I got home things weren't pretty and I was breaking out in cold sweats. I took a nap and ate a sandwich and am feeling better but the rest of the day I'm spending in bed drinking a lot of water. And also resting/icing my knee because the right one started hurting around mile 6 which slowed me down significantly.

When I ran this race two years ago I finished it in about an hour and 45 minutes. Today it took me 2 and a half hours which suuuuuuuuucks. But next year? Next year I am going for less than an hour and a half because there is a medal involved if I can do it. And I can. I forget sometimes how far I've come since I had to stop running last year in only a very few short months (three to be exact). And I forget how much harder it is to run with 40 extra pounds and I get down on myself sometimes about it. But I'm slowly working it off so next year I'm coming for you, Mountain Goat! We have a hot date and it's going to last than an hour and a half, none of this two and a half hour funny business!

I didn't get any good pictures at the race but here's this year's race shirt which I LOOOOVE! It was gender specific this year and the women's is bright, obnoxious pink (which is kind of my jam right now):

And Trixie trying to steal my super amazing chocolate mousse cake that I got last night from my favorite Italian bakery so that I had something to look forward to after my race today (I've wanted a piece of this cake for months and was not sharing!):

In conclusion: I didn't run the race I had hoped for but I finished it and am now a two time Goat. And I'll be ready next year, Look out MG!

My thoughts on food.

I woke up to a bun on the lam this morning. A crash woke me up earlier but then I went back to sleep convinced it was something falling over in my shower (that happens) and came out into the living room after I really woke up to find the bun come flying out of the closet she's not allowed in (because Trixie's litter box is in there). Turns out she went all Hulk and somehow forced the doors of her cage open. She came right to me and is now sitting in her cage looking really guilty but I haven't actually found anything she destroyed which is a damn Christmas miracle in May. Time will tell though because I have no idea how long she was out.

Buns.

I am FINALLY getting over this Illness of Doom well over a week later but am still really tired and haven't been able to run in almost two weeks. Seeing as I have the Mountain Goat this Sunday, the 10 mile race I've been training for for 6 weeks, this should be interesting. And by interesting I mean terrifying because I might die at this one. I know I say that a lot but this time I mean it. I'm still excited though, oddly enough. There's going to be a few hills I walk for sure and I will be nowhere near my time from two years ago but NEXT year I'm looking to do it in under an hour and a half. And I will.

I was just reading Self magazine and I saw a quote from Bethanny Frankel (who I don't particularly love but only because she's borderline insane) who said something that really rings true to me: "Any diet that says to limit eating watermelon but processed protein bars are good means we've become stupid" and I completely agree. The issue that I have with diets like the Paleo Diet (which you may remember I was researching a few weeks ago) are that they teach you that some foods are "bad". In my opinion if it's fresh then it's good for you, even breads. Yes, I am limiting my carbs right now but that's because it's my own science experiment. I don't think carbohydrates are bad for you and if I did I wouldn't be planning on spending the next 4 days eating as much as possible to be ready for my race on Sunday. Your body needs certain things for fuel and to be honest, the whole "eating like a caveman" thing frustrates me to no end because they weren't healthy and they didn't live very long. You can even fast forward many years to find sailors dying from scurvy from lack of vitamin C or people with an iodine deficiency which is why it's in iodized table salt now. I was worried that I was eating too many grapes but then I realized it's fruit, for goodness sake! And it's better than eating a bag of donuts so whatever, if I'm going to eat 2lb of grapes a day then so be it. I'll be past that phase soon enough since it's just one of my random food obsessions.

To add onto that some I was talking to a friend about losing weight yesterday and I told her one of my mantras and that's that there is no such thing as good and bad food. Food is fuel and it's not something to reward yourself with or something that you deserve because you had a bad day. It's something that your body needs to run properly and the better fuel you give it, the better it will run. That being said eating a piece of chocolate cake (or heck, even half the cake) doesn't have to ruin your whole eating plan for the day nor will it take 4 years from your life or force you into a gluten allergy. The idea of eating clean and limiting refined sugar and watching your carb intake is a good one and one that I try to stick to but sometimes cake just has to happen. And to be honest, I spend more time worrying about the rate at which we're burning through fossil fuel (that we get from countries that don't have unions or regulations on collecting it to keep their workers safe), the rate at which we are overpopulating the planet, the decrease in farming because it's no longer a high profit making business, the melting of the polar ice caps and whether or not my cat is hyperthyroid and how the hell I am going to medicate her daily if she is than I do about what I should and shouldn't eat because it will cut 45.6 hours off of my life.

In short, there are a lot of things in life to worry about so what you eat shouldn't take up too much of your time. Eat mostly healthy foods. Stay away from fast food places but if you need to eat some chicken nuggets once in a while then go for it (for the record the Happy Meals at McDonalds have some awesome apple sticks that are highly chemical filled and highly delicious). Don't beat yourself up if you eat a Kit Kat..or two. Or a Panera smoothie. Just get off the couch and exercise if you do! And for pete's sake be easy on yourself if you're trying to lose weight. My mom, who has been a size 6 my whole life and who is 5'7", tries to tell me all the time that her trying to quit smoking is much harder than me losing over 100lb. Ha I say to that. HA! She has no idea. No one makes a sugar patch to slap on when you're craving a Chik Fil A Milkshake or a fake cheeseburger to eat that tastes just like the real thing but with none of the side effects. And people who are trying to quit smoking are commended and congratulated while people who are trying to lose weight are expected to do so. It's not the same thing. At all. (This is not to say that quitting smoking is easy by any means and I am well aware that it's not).

Anyway, a book I really like is In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan and the first page says this:
Eat food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.

Sadly, he forgot cake. From Wegman's. The Ultimate Chocolate Cake. But otherwise that's a solid motto. Stick to that and you'll be in a good place.

Of course, this is all just my opinion and it's how I choose to live. If something else works for you, rock on! And tell me about it, there aren't a lot of things I don't like to research the snot out of :)

Extreme makeover bedroom edition

I've been reading a lot of house design blogs lately. And by lately I mean the last year or so because some of you may remember that I was supposed to be moving in May. If you didn't know that please feel free to ask my customers about it because I had told roughly 25% of the 400-500 hospitals I cover that I would be moving so not a week goes by that someone doesn't ask me when I am and if I'm excited about it or if I need boxes. It's kind of like Groundhog's Day but with a bunny and less money in royalties.

Anyway, I'm not moving anymore but am still obsessed with changing my space all the time. It makes sense since I used to play with Barbies and Fisher Price Little People a LOT when I was small but I never really acted any story lines out. Instead I would spend hours constructing the perfect layout for their living spaces (usually in a toy wagon so that they had more of an open loft feel) and bartering my cousin (who went to the same babysitter as I did) for the coveted Fisher Price Little People toilet. Seriously people, if this doesn't prove that my nerdiness is buried deep in my double helix I don't know what will.

Photo credit

Back to the decorating, I was pretty excited to move for many reasons but one of them was because I was going to get to start all over from scratch. I recently finished my living room and although I love it it was far too girly for when I moved and I was really excited about the prospect of having a grey living room. I've wanted a dove grey room since the very first time I logged on to Pinterest because it's just so...awesome. And perfect. And versatile. But my living room is a wonderful color right now and decorated just how I want it so I don't want to change it.

Enter: my bedroom.



It's dark because I'm not a photographer. Sorry, kids.

A few things about my bedroom:
-I love that color and it's been that color for 5.5years in this apt and a year in my last. However, I need a change...I think. I might wake up screaming one night because my beloved Lucy Blue is gone but only time will tell.
-I bought my glorious bed a year ago after I was sleeping better at hotels than at home. Before then I was sleeping on the same bed that I've had since I was 15. Yikes! And I am NOT one of those people who are into low beds. I prefer a step stool, thanks. But my room was decorated around my old bed, not this one.
-I love my duvet (Pottery Barn) but it's really heavy and scratchy.
-I hate how the ceiling fan looks but I can't sleep without it. Plus my landlord would probably be ticked if I put up the chandelier of my dreams.
-Everything is just mismashed here. I need some cohesion.
-Oh, and yes, that is a teddy bear and his name is Henry. He remains one of the only things that I have from my life before my house burned down when I was 24 so he will stay with me until the end of time. It's funny the things you get attached to when you lose everything. I'm as equally attached my rock hammer.

What are my plans?
1) Dove grey walls with white trim (after 6 years the trim needs a redo).
2) White coverlet and a grey and white striped duvet for my comforter
3) Those sheets are staying. They're my world and WAY more pink in person.
4) Another night stand for the left side to balance things
5) Artwork above the bed. I have a lot of ideas, maybe framed lace? I love lace.
6) New lamps for the nightstands, I am thinking light turquoise glass but haven't found the right ones yet
7) Maybe new carpeting? My mom has been obsessed with putting a new carpet in since I moved in even though she's only been in my bedroom twice for 30 second intervals but I might let her win.
8) A new dresser. Mine is cherry from my 15 year old furniture and doesn't fit my stuff in it (it's on the other side, you can see the top of it on the right). I'd like to get one from a thrift store and paint it light turquoise maybe? We'll see though, our thrift stores aren't stellar around here.
9) Maybe another piece of DIY art. I have an idea but it depends on how it turns out.

So there you have it. Hopefully I will start painting next weekend although moving that bed is going to be a challenge. I'll keep you update as it goes :)

Also, since we were talking about 80's toys, want to know what still gives me nightmares?

Photo credit

Am I crazy? Don't answer that.

I'm sick. And I'm not happy about it.

I haven't been sick in at least a year. I attribute it to running all the time and getting an annual flu shot. Oh, and eating pretty healthy. Seriously. But I could feel this coming on since Tuesday and tried to fight it, unsuccessfully. I was exhausted all week and instead of getting up early every morning to run I just laid in bed until the last possible minute before I had to get up. Last night I started feeling really miserable and it hit me like a Mack truck this morning. I drove 4 hours home instead of actually doing any work today (I was in overtime anyway) and I'm worried that I'm not going to have it in me to run the race I wanted to do tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm writing about it because I have no one else to whine to. So you're welcome.

I had two major things that happened today. Things that blew my mind and I therefore expect them to blow yours.

1) I realized that I actually like the treadmill. I know, I'm shocked too! I've spent so long hating them but it's because I kept putting them in the mindset of distance running but I really needed to just pigeon hole it into speedwork and kicking the snot out of myself for 3 hard miles vs working on 5 or 6 easy miles. When I haven't been on a treadmill for a few days I start to itch for a good hard run that makes me sweat like a beast and lay on the floor of my hotel room gasping for air once I manage to make my way back there. This is epiphany is making me think that I might need to join a gym and not rely on the 2-3 days a week I'm at a hotel. Pure crazy talk.

Even crazier?

2) I am seriously thinking about doing a marathon. I don't want to. I haven't changed my mind about that. But I might need to for reasons that I will go into at some other point if I do it. And if I do it will be a purely selfless act (because I don't WANT to do it) and I will need to raise about $4000-$5000 in order to do it. It's something that presented itself to me today so I'm kind of kicking it around my mind right now but I am giving it some decent consideration. And because of it I am 100% positive my badass Marine cousin Todd who runs marathons barefoot is sitting somewhere in the Philippines chewing nails while sitting on broken glass and cheering that he may get me over to the dark side yet.

I wouldn't count your chickens just yet though, buddy.


Last weekend I ran a race in Maine that my company sponsored and it was easily one of the most fun races I have ever done. I ran with SO many people I knew and there were so many people cheering us on that it was like a huge race made out of my family. For an inaugural race it was really well organized and the 5k route was mapped out so that part of it went through the woods on a trail which was fun. To be honest I didn't really want to make the 12 hour round trip drive just to run 3.1 miles but my friend convinced me to since she was coming from St. Louis and it would be her first race. So I gave it and I'm glad I did because it was AWESOME and hanging out with my coworkers slash friends slash family for a whole weekend was exactly what I needed. I miss those crazy Mainahs already.

So does the honey badger even though usually he don't care.

In the last month I've messed around with what I've been eating a lot and settled on no carb/no refined sugar except for carbs on Thursdays and Fridays. As a result I've lost 3lb which would typically discourage me but it's not. My body is on to me from the first weight loss round when I lost a Bertha's worth of chub so it's hanging on for dear life and I'm ok with it coming off slowly because it's not going to win. No flippin way. Plus to be fair the amount of calories I consumed in Maine were enough to gain a pound or two and I've been sick all week and not exercising more than my remote finger so it's ok. Plus I lost an inch in a few places so it's coming from where it matters! And I will win.

And I fit in my blazer again! Yahtzee!! Although let's be honest, I'm not wearing that baby buttoned for any extended period of time. Like ever.

I guess I can't have a post without a bun update. Last weekend I ordered her a toy called an Einstein toy from a seller on Etsy that makes bunny toys. It has little wooden pieces that she has to lift up to find treats under to keep her occupied. I haven't tried it with her yet but it (and the other toy I ordered her) came in a box stuff with hay instead of packing material and it was like her Christmas, Birthday and Bunday all rolled into one. She burrowed in that box for at least 45 minutes and kept popping up to stand on her hind legs and then dive back down under the hay. As a matter of fact she's back in there right now. It's the simple things, I guess.

Panera, why have you forsaken me??

Today, my heart broke. Literally.

I've been wondering why I haven't lost much weight this week even though I've been off refined sugar for 4 weeks and have been almost completely off carbs (other than fruit and vegetables and other than Thursdays and Fridays) for 3 weeks. The only sugar I've been eating has been Panera strawberry smoothies of which I have probably had one every day this week (today was two...at once...because it was 4:00 and I had missed lunch...so I don't wanna hear it, desperate girls make desperate decisions).

So on my 2.5 hour drive home today while sipping my gallon of smoothie I got to thinking...and then I got to googling...and then I found out how many grams of sugar are in one smoothie. Are you ready to hear it?

53 grams.

53!

Be. Still. My Heart.


Now it's safe to say that you'd be hard pressed to find someone that loves Panera more than I do and I probably eat there almost every single day, no exaggeration (just ask my supervisor, she's the one who approves my expense reports). That being said, I also know how dirty they can be with advertising themselves as being healthy. My favorite sandwich of ALL TIME is their Italian Combo. Care to guess how many calories in that baby? 1100. Want to know how many calories a day I try to stick to when trying to lose weight? 1200-1300. *sob* Therefore I know better than to not check labels but I trusted them on this one and that trust has been broken!

With this new discovery of mine I'm thinking that that combined with the 2lb a grapes I am eating every two days (literally) isn't working out so well to me so....they're gone. I'm having a nervous breakdown just thinking about it but sugar is my gateway drug and it just has to happen.

Pray for me.

Anyway, check your labels and check calorie counts online! Restaurants are required to post nutritional information at least online if not on their menu so don't just check the calories, find out what else is lurking in there. You can eat healthy in any restaurant as long as you put a little effort into it, even if it involves threatening the waitress if she comes anywhere near your table with the dessert selection (that may or may not have happened on Saturday...)


On a funny note, remember my crock pot adventure last night? I turned the box into a fort for the girls and there has been a power struggle for it...aka Archie is in it and Trixie keeps hissing at her out of frustration but don't mess the bun, she always wins.

There was a staredown first...

Doesn't Archie look just like a Moray eel?? Kills me.

And then Trixie grabbed her feather toy and started kicking it, I think as a threat. The bun wasn't impressed though because she recently fought a vicious Macbook cable and won so she's kind of a big deal around here.

In her own mind, that is. She gets it from me.

What I mean when I talk about speedwork

A couple of months ago I cut all of my (really long) hair off up to my shoulders. I thought I was ready to but I've been miserable about it. Such a girl move. However, today I re-perfected curling it with my straightening iron and all is well with my world.

Thank the Lord.

In other news, I cooked tonight and it worked! Which I'm ridiculously excited about, you have no idea. If you remember from a previous post I made it pretty clear that I couldn't cook even if I wanted to (which I do) because baking is my thing. However a few months ago I got a crock pot and haven't used it yet so I busted it out tonight and threw a bunch of stuff in it and it turned out pretty darn good! And no carbs! Unless you count the beans which I do not.

Here's a link to the recipe I used: Cream Cheese Chicken Chili. I'd put up a picture but 1) It looks exactly the same as hers and 2) The kitchen is two entire rooms away and 16 & Pregnant is on so I'm sure you can figure out the priority in this equation. Just trust me that it tastes delicious.

And know that I washed a bowl of it down with a pound of grapes. I'm trying to wean myself off but it's not working out so well.

This morning I was at my hotel down near where I was going to be moving in May so I knew that there was a really good trail to run nearby and I plans to get up early to run outside. I didn't make it though because I had a lot of work to do so I just did some speedwork on the treadmill.

When I say I do speedwork I use that term pretty loosely. I can't run straight through miles on the treadmill because I get way too bored and when I get bored my stride gets sloppy and I fall.

Off the treadmill.

Not joking.

Stop laughing.

The most I have ever run straight through on the treadmill is 4 miles and I still have no idea how I did it. Probably a lot of Britney Spears. What I do now is usually start at a walk, then push it to my normal comfortable running pace (it was 7, now it's 5.5....boo. But I'm almost up to 6!) and then I will usually push the speed up higher then lower then walk then high then middle etc etc. This not only keeps me from being bored, it also helps me get faster overall and it burns more calories (when you bring your heart rate up and back down over and over it makes your body work harder).

Most people do speedwork on a track or during their runs, timing themselves and then pushing themselves hard alternating with recovery periods. I run too consistently though so I have a hard time pushing myself to go faster unless I have a magic button that forces me to.

Doing speedwork is also when I noticed I was having heart issues over a year ago so be careful if you do this to not push yourself too hard. My heart issues and my speedwork were completely unrelated but it's easy to push yourself way to hard without realizing it on a treadmill and potentially injure yourself.

I had more to say but I'm totally falling asleep sitting up so that's all I've got. Happy tax day!