No lamb, no garden, no immaculate conception but there IS something about me.


The anti-bucket list.

I've never really thought about having a bucket list or a list of goals that I hope to achieve before I die. Usually if I want to do something I just do it. Lose 120lb? Done. Run a half marathon? Done, several times over. Convince my rabbit that that Apple products are not for consumption unless they are the actual fruit? Work in progress.

If I did have a bucket list it would be pretty short:
1) Go to Hawaii (Waterfalls!! Volcanoes!!)
2) Go to Iceland (Waterfalls!! Volcanoes!! GLACIERS!!!!!)
3) Go to Pompeii (Volcanoes that killed people so fast we were able to create plaster molds of their bodies that were encased in ash like human fossils!!!!)
4) Live in an apartment with a bathtub and a washer and dryer.

See, kids? My dreams aren't that big. And hopefully I might be able to accomplish one of them this year (not Iceland though because I would implode at the thought, it's been my dream since high school and requires a lot more planning).

I am an optimist by nature however I am more apt to have an anti-bucket list. As in, a Crap-I-Ain't-Ever-Doin' list. I thought I might share a few of these unadventures:

Own a house on my own.
Not happening. The second a shingle fell off the roof I would have a mental breakdown and move into the nearest hotel because I wouldn't know what to do, I've had a landlord for 10 years now. I can hang a picture and fix my toilet from ever-flushing but that's about it. Ok, that's not true, I can figure out a lot but I don't want to thankyouverymuch. Plus I'm not ready to be rooted to one place just yet.

Swim with sharks...again.
Last year I went to the Atlantis in the Bahamas. It was the most amazing trip I have ever been on in my life  and part of involved snorkeling near an incredible coral reef...which was awesome until we came across two 6 foot long lemon sharks. Our guide wasn't worried but I swear I have never moved so fast in my life to get out of that water. As soon as I got back to the land of the internet (aka the airport) I googled them and found out that they have an affinity to red haired girls (swear on my bunny) and that was that. I'll snorkel again but not without a big stick...and a tazer.

That super pale chick with the white tshirt is can almost see the sun poisoning I got in progress here. Waterproof SPF 75 my (crispy) bum.

Jump out of an airplane.
I have no idea why so many people want to do this. I have no fear of heights, as a matter of fact I have swung upside down from a bar hung between two 50 foot trees, but I'm not interested in flirting with the chance that I could become human scrambled eggs. Thanks but no thanks.

Tell my mom where my tattoo is.
She knows it's there she just has no idea what it is of or where the exact coordinates of it are and if I were to tell her she would cut it off my body with a spoon if that's all she could find (her exact words).

Read a bunch of classic books for the sake of saying I did it.
Just because they are a classic doesn't mean that they are good. Exhibit A: anything that misogynistic jerk Hemingway ever wrote. Don't even get me started on that man. I will read almost anything once however not because someone tells me it's good but because I am a book addict. Exhibit B: I went on a few dates with a really hot guy a few years ago who was a total science nerd (aka kryptonite) and he convinced me to read Guns, Germs and Steel and I will NEVER get those 5 days of my life back.

Go to Las Vegas.
My eyes are extremely light sensitive and even one flash of a strobe light can throw me into an immediate migraine. Add that to the fact that I don't like being around girls that are 10 million times hotter than me and I'll pass. However the fact that I could wear ridiculous 6 inch heels everywhere is appealing though so this one may be negotiable.

Run a marathon.
I don't want to ever hate running and training for a full marathon is a job. Don't let anyone tell you any different. I love running, I love racing even more and if I had to start pulling 20 mile four hour long runs on one of the only two days a week I am actually in my own city I would be miserable. There is no shame in being a half marathoner and it doesn't make me any less of a runner. It makes me a smart runner because it means I'm choosing the distance that I love. However, if you want to do one rock on. I just have two words for you: body glide.

Hike the Appalachian Trail.
I love hiking. I was born in the mountains of the Adirondacks in upstate NY and I swear that there is granite and big chunks of garnet running through my veins. It's a huge reason why I fell in love with geology very young in life and hiking affords me a ton of access to lots of rocks that I can lug home. However, my attention span is that of a gnat so I usually prefer hiking to waterfalls or in streams so I can dig around for fossils and rearrange little rocks to make dams in the water and get extremely wet and muddy. I'm sure the AT has lots of opporunity for wetness and mud but it just seems so...boring to me.

Learn sign language.
I am a born and raised New Yorker, I know all the sign language I could ever need ;)

Overall I just have no desire to do something just to say that I did it. If I could define my bucket list it would be live my life to the fullest while staying healthy, always challenging myself, maintaining my happiness with my work and making sure that my friends and family know how much I love and appreciate them.

And to be honest, I achieved my one true dream last year that I have had since I was very, very small:

His name is Eli and we are in lurve <3

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