Statement of Intentions

I have to admit that when I was losing weight and afterwards it was a topic of discussion that I just didn't bring up. People who knew me before would mention it and it would make me uncomfortable. When I started my new job I rarely told anyone because how do you? "Hey, if you'd known me 2 years ago you would have wondered how I could walk to the car let alone run half marathons now"? And forget dating. My biggest fear was that a guy I was dating would find out my "secret" before I found the right opportunity to tell him. I've made it my resolution (not New Years but for life in general) to stop being ashamed of who I was and am. I was still the same awesome funny redhead who covers too much stuff in glitter and buys impractical shoes on impulse as I am now. I'm just a different version of myself, mostly the same but with a lot of improvements (and a lot more to go).

In the last two years I've had a lot of people who do know ask me how I lost weight and call me an inspiration. That word makes me squirm a little, like I don't deserve it or don't know what to do with it. I'm just a girl who lost some weight, I didn't do anything special. I didn't cure cancer, find a way to incite world peace or discover a way to eat frosting without having even one calorie count (lord how I wish I had). I've been through a lot in my life that most people don't know about and I've quietly been able to rise above it and move forward without anyone but my closest friends and family being aware of it. My mantra is to always have a Plan B. When Plan A gets blown to bits, Plan B is where I find comfort and motivation. I am always ready to hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I don't think of myself as a pessimist but more of a realist. Anything in your life can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye and you need to be ready to pick yourself up and carry on because tomorrow is a different day. Maybe not a better day but definitely a chance to build the groundwork for one.

All that aside I think sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. I remember watching the Biggest Loser  a few years ago and having it be one of my favorite shows. I would sit in front of the tv eating dinner that contained far more calories than I ever put a thought to and I would wonder, what if that was me? What if I could go on a show like that and a few months later emerge a completely different person? What if I could have someone wave that magic wand and everything in my life would change? But I never thought in a million years that it would actually happen. I was comfortable in my ways and was relatively content (or so I thought) so I saw no need to change, nor did I have a clue how.

When I think about what I've done, losing 120lb and becoming a RUNNER, I sometimes feel like it was all a dream and someone else did it. But then I realize that it was me, I did it through research and trial and error and most importantly patience with myself. I was the epitome of the saying "What could you accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail?" because I had no idea how far I could take it or if it would even work. And for that reason I am writing this blog. I want other people to know that they can do it because I did it. I'm no one special, just a normal every day girl. I didn't follow Weight Watchers or drink special shakes or buy expensive gym memberships. I didn't follow any special plan or have a personal trainer or a nutritionist. I just slowly figured out what I should eat and when and then found an exercise that I truly liked to do.

Now I am ready to help anyone who wants it. If through this I can help keep myself motivated and motivate someone else in the process then I'm in it for the long haul. If you need to lose 5lb or 105lb or you just want to run a 5k, maybe my words will help you. I myself am a huge reader of blogs and find a lot of strength through the words of other every day ordinary people. I don't always have the right answers or the answers I have are what works for me but I will try my best to help because so many have helped me without even knowing it.

One more thing: don't think that this blog is going to be all serious and uptight because that's not how I roll. Hopefully this is my last serious post for a while, too much makes me twitch.

That's me wearing one leg of my old shorts. No joke.