It takes time.

Yesterday was a heartbreaker. I packed up all of Alex's stuff and I swear I almost had a nervous breakdown about it. All of his little odds and ends around the house, all of the notes he wrote me referencing our future life together, the ring pop he asked me to marry him with. All of it is in a box in my kitchen and I plan on sending it to him soon. Next up is to take down the Christmas tree, another task I have been dreading. I am waiting for this to get easier and I know that it will but just when I think I have a handle on things my eyes start leaking of their own accord and I wonder how I can magically fast forward time to a year from now. I know that the ease will come, my heart will start hurting a little less and start healing itself a little more but I can't rush it. And you have no idea how much I wish I could.