August weight loss and running report

My August weight loss didn't go as well as I'd hoped (I wanted to try for 10lb lost, what was I thinking?). I "only" lost four lb but hey, that's 4 less on me! My measurements have gone down and that is better than the scale going down so I'll take it. I'm pretty sure I'm not losing weight as quickly because I'm not eating enough calories. I just don't eat a lot in general and when you take sugar and carbs out of your diet your caloric intake is almost non existent. At least mine is, unless I decide to eat bacon every single day which would be gross. I am not on that "OMG BACON IS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER!!1!1!" bandwagon. I mean, it's good with pancakes but I don't die over it. Except for the burgers at Nosh in Portland, Maine that have bacon ground into the burger meat and they're amazing. My September goal is 5lb, something attainable I think... I hope.

As for running my mileage and workouts were good for this week, here's the run down:

Sunday: 10 miles
Monday: Physical therapy (trust me, it's a work out)
Tuesday: 4 miles
Wednesday: Jullian Michael's 30 Day Shred workout
Thursday: 3.5 miles and physical therapy
Friday: Rest day (PT made me really sore the day before)
Saturday: 5 miles

Total mileage: 22.5! I'm finally past the 17 mile barrier I've been hanging out in!

I'll be missing my running group tomorrow and Tuesday so I am going to try and stay focused and get my miles in anyway. I've been rotating shoes between my old busted Ravennas and the devil Mizunos and I am getting less blisters. I'm still getting them but not as many and they're in different spots which is good. The ones that frustrate me (and hurt) the most are the ones that form right under and area that had one a day or two before. I am thinking of switching to Nikes for my next shoes, I keep seeing a lot of people wearing them and it makes me curious to see what they would be like. I haven't had a pair of Nike's since high school so I have an unbiased opinion of them. Plus I could create my own color combo online and they will make them for me, how awesome is that?? Here's what I came up with:

How awesome do they look? I mean, really. They're pretty amazing and I can even get my name on the tongues which is an A+ in my book, I like all of my things branded with my name so no one touches my stuff. Yes, I'm an only child. Why do you ask?

My back is pretty ticked at me when I run anything over 6 miles but I just need to work on getting it stronger. I haven't been showing as much improvement as Noah the PT would like so when I go to my doctor recheck on Friday (the one that determines if I can go back to work or not) he wants me to discuss with my dr having xrays and/or an MRI done. Awesome. Pttthhhhb. I'm trying to stay positive but I got really upset when he said that on Thursday and I almost became a blubbering mess so we only did an hour's worth of exercises vs 1.5-2. I'm hoping that I can regroup the next few days and rally to bring my positivity level back up because being a piss ant isn't going to get me anywhere.

Does anywhere out there run in Nikes? What do you think of them if you do?

Back it up.

I woke up this morning to a rabbit on the lam. I came out of my room and Archie came running right to me in a total "Moooom! I was baaaad!!!" way. Seriously, you should have seen the look on her face. I thought that she had just gotten out a few minutes before because nothing outside the living room was disturbed but about an hour after I put her away I discovered that she broke out of her hutch, went through the living room, past my desk, went into the kitchen, somehow opened the door to the little closet I keep my trash can in and chewed a bunch of pieces off my broom then returned to the living room all the while bypassing the delectable pieces of paper all over the floor around my desk from doing expense reports.

I'm not sure if other rabbits have a personality as big as mine does but she has it in spades.

I had to go to the doctor today for a recheck on my back and the nurse told me I had lost "another 6lb" and asked how I did it because she has recently joined Weight Watchers. I told her I gave up carbs and refined sugar and then broke down crying hysterically, much like someone on a reality show that has just been voted off the episode right before they are in the finals to win a million dollars and a car that will stop being made two years after airing. I swear to all that is holy I have never been through a breakup as hard as giving up carbs has been. Yesterday I was driving to an appointment and realized that I had been daydreaming about spaghetti for at least 15 minutes and it was one of the best daydreams I have ever had.

That being said I ate three ears of corn for dinner tonight and every single one was amazing.

This scale and I have had a love/hate relationship since we first met five years ago but today we were tight. I do miss carbs but not enough to go back to inhaling them on the daily until I'm back in a size 4. I just hope and pray it's sooner rather than later.

So my doctor didn't have good news for me today but I kind of expected it. I've been given a weight restriction of not being able to lift more than 10lb until my recheck in a month and I have to start going to physical therapy. This might seem minor but a good portion of my job is pretty physical so it's going to take some rethinking and rearranging how things happen until I am better. It's also going to be tough to figure how I will be in town often enough to go to PT but I'll make it work. I AM, however, allowed to run. I have no idea how I convinced him that I am ok to run but after being my doctor for the last 5 years I think he's used to me by now and it may be because the nurse told him about how I sobbed over missing dinner rolls and figured that it would be best to avoid the epic nuclear meltdown that I would have if he said I couldn't run. It would be like a red headed Chernobyl and I shudder to think what that would entail.

For the record, my doctor wanted to make my weight restriction 5lb but I convinced him to up to to 10lb so I could still cart around all the hospital kitties I see in my days. Really, it's the bread and butter of my job. I mean, just look at this dude. His name is Ralph and he's lived at his hospital his whole life and his disgruntled face was not because I was holding him but because I stopped petting him to take his picture. How rude of me.

The good news is I was kind of bummed so I went to the mall and found not only the brand new Urban Decay foundation brush that I've been dreaming of for months since they first mentioned they would be releasing their new Naked foundation but I also happened across a sale at Ann Taylor which netted me a silk shirt that fits like a dream and that adorable glitter clutch for a whopping $26 total. Win.

Don't ask me why I bought three bottle of nail polish when I bit all my fingernails off a few weeks ago and have been begging them to grow back ever since. I know not what I do.

Bullet Wednesday: Running, Rabbits, and everything in between

The Bun

She is doing much better and I really appreciate all the people who have asked about her. My pets are my kids and it was horrible to see her in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it. After all the research I've done I am 100% sure that it was "just" a bout of GI stasis and not hairballs (that doesn't make it any better, it just means that there was nothing else in combination with it). She has been eating like a champ though and is beyond excited that she gets a large bunch of organic Spring Mix twice a day to keep her GI tract moving at warp speed, so much so that she has started throwing her salad bowl again in protest when it's empty, something she hasn't done since she was young. This picture cracks me up, here she is about an hour ago with her Einstein toy that has three compartments to put treats in and she has to remove the pieces to find the treat (which she always does quickly).

What's up, doc?

My back

It got much better out of nowhere last week but then it went back to ground zero yesterday after I had a pretty physical day at work. I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a recheck but it's safe to say that I will not be making the 12 hour round trip drive to Maine this weekend to run Beach to Beacon which marks the second year I got in (registration closes in 5 minutes on the day it opens) but won't be running it. Maybe next year? *sob*

My July weight loss

July was a tough month because the first week was the week of the Boilermaker and I'm allowed to eat whatever I want the week before a big race (this is my own rule and I'm not changing it) and the week after I went to Philly for a sales meeting which means a lot of hotel food (there is usually cake, all I'm gonna say) and Pat's for an authentic Philly cheesesteak (Whiz wit out!). Therefore I only lost 3lb but the good news is I weigh in on the 28th of every month and even though it was three days ago I am back on track to where I need to be. I have a lofty goal of losing 10lb this month, think I can do it?

My half marathon training

On Tuesday morning my procrastinator self finally ponied up the $150 to Fleet Feet to join their half marathon training program that runs for 12 weeks and started that night at 5:45pm. After being late because I couldn't figure out where everyone was meeting I got put in my group of 10-12 minute milers and we did a 0.6 mile warm up and then did three one mile runs where we tried to improve our time by 10 seconds on each mile. I had to sit out the last mile because I got extremely light headed and thought I was going to pass out which was embarrassing. I didn't eat anything but a Kind bar for breakfast all day though and I haven't been sleeping well because I've been waking up to check on Archie every night so it makes sense. We run on Tuesdays and Sundays and I think Tuesdays will be speedwork and Sundays will be for distance. I'm not sure how I am going to fare on the Tuesday night runs because I historically suck at running in the afternoon or evening but I'm hoping I get used to it. I'm excited though, there are lots of awesome people to talk to so I hope I meet some new running friends. I already saw a girl that I need to be friends with because she had the best shoes ever and her shirt matched them so naturally we should be BFF's (whether she agrees or not). I need to step up my game though, all the girls looked cute in their running clothes and I was in my normal mis-matched business. What can I say, I wear what I like to run in and not what looks good (<-----Who is this person SPEAKING??!). I'm also SUPER excited about being coached and having a set schedule of running, I love structure.

Clothes, glorious clooooothes!

I bought a pair of pants at Banana Republic on mega clearance last weekend in a size smaller than I've been wearing and they fit like a dream so I've been wearing them for the last two days. Score one for fitting in smaller pants and score one for wearing pants many times before washing them. Then today I got my new bathing suit in the mail and despite being scared to try it on it looks so good (did I just say that outloud?) that I am going to order another one in white! (I told you, my love of white clothes knows no bounds). I also finally went to the new BCBG store on Saturday that is now in the mall that's a quarter mile from my house and died on the spot. You may recall that BCBG is part of my shopping trifecta (if only I had a JCrew purchase to go in this love story) so the fact that there is one so close to me is heaven on earth. I couldn't leave without commemorating this momentous occasion so this dress happened despite the fact that I usually loathe ruffles:

I can't wait until fall, swoon!

Waxing poetic

My eyeliner started out a little crazy this morning so I went with it and it ended up amazing which is my metaphor for life. When things look like they're going all wrong just keep working on it and it will all turn out all right.

I could have smile though. And put on some lipgloss. Live and learn.

My current grocery list

I went running again this morning and it was nowhere near as magical as it was yesterday. My body felt out of control and I couldn't get a good stride. As a matter of fact if you envision a person running and flailing while doing windmills with your arms I'm pretty sure that's what my form looked like. I think it was because my legs were super tight because I don't stretch. Ever. I know, I know, total badness but it makes no sense to me. Stretching before you run is like trying to bend a piece of uncooked spaghetti and after you run your body is already loose. Maybe I'll give it a try someday but not today. Probably not tomorrow either.

In addition to stretching I think I need to start putting on sunscreen before I run. I run on trails so there isn't a lot of sun exposure but there must be enough because my freckles are out of control, it's pretty ridiculous. There's more than there looks, thank goodness for my new foundation.

I also forgot to take my medication for my back today after I ran (never take medication before you run, your liver will thank you for it) so I've been miserable all day. I didn't think they were doing much but it turns out they're doing something. It's another night on the ice bed for me, I can't wait *sigh*

I frequently get asked what I eat to lose weight and it really isn't all that exciting and varies week to week. I usually go grocery shopping every day because I never know when I'll be home and when I'll be on the road so I hate buying a lot and having it go bad before the end of the week when I get home (which has happened more times than I can count). I go through phases of what I eat and I will usually eat the same exact thing every day for a few weeks and then switch it up. I've been that way since I was small, from kindergarten to sixth grade I took a half of a jelly sandwich (peanut butter is the devil), a baggie of Doritos and a juice box to school every day for lunch. When I hit sixth grade I decide that jelly sandwiches were lame and switched to ham (no condiments) until my junior year of high school when I started buying lunch. Should you think I am making this up you can ask my mom, she'd be more than happy to embarrass me with all that and more.

My current shopping list (or variation of because I don't buy this all on one day) is:
-18 count Large eggs (I eat three scrambled eggs every morning and yes, my cholesterol is perfect).
-Kind Almond and Coconut bars
-Boneless, skinless chicken
-No salt added canned green beans (I don't like them if they are fresh or frozen)
-Grapes
-Strawberries
-No sugar added mandarin oranges (I'm not supposed to eat citrus fruit because of a bladder condition I have but this is my current obsession)
-Sharp cheese
-String cheese
-Country Crock margarine (for ma BEANS!)
-Shake and Bake (for ma CHICKEN! I developed an aversion to chicken two weeks ago so I added that in with success!)
-Chunky almond butter
-BBQ soy nuts
-Seagrams Frozen Sangria (hey, you can't be perfect all the time)

Other things that rotate in and out but that I'm not currently eating because of the low carb/refined sugar thing: Chobani Pomegranate Greek Yogurt, Crofter's organic strawberry jam, whole wheat English muffins, Annie's cheddar buns and fruit snacks (I'm 5), Pirate's Booty, Snyder's Pretzel rods, and other random things.

I usually eat eggs for breakfast, cheese and fruit for a snack, a salad or a Kind bar for lunch (since I'm not usually home), and chicken and green beans for dinner (if I'm not home I usually get a salad at Panera or the grocery store). I am well aware of the fact that I'm not eating enough calories every day but it's a work in progress. Cutting carbs and sugar out of your diet really do a number on your calorie count, at least for me and I'm still working to find the balance. The good news is that once I am done losing weight I will go back to eating carbs and sugar because as long as I run a few times a week I maintain my weight really well. And I miss spaghetti *sob*

Speaking of food, I think Archie finally had enough of Trixie going into her hutch to steal her catnip toy so she killed her. She doesn't appear to be showing any remorse, either.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? (Training week 5)

I think I must hate my Mizunos. And I think that because I noticed all I've been wearing lately are my Ravennas and I noticed that because I got THREE blisters today, one of which was in the middle of my foot. I took my shoe and sock off twice during my run thinking I had a rock or kitty litter in it (Trixie likes to shove both of her paws as far as she can get in my shoes and dig in them, it's still a mystery) but I never found anything. Then when I got home and took a shower I realized I felt like I was still stepping on something and lo and behold...a massive blister where no blister should be. Wanna see it?

HOW DO YOU EVEN GET A BLISTER THERE?? And you're welcome for the literal and not figurative view of my injury.

Now I need to figure out if there is a statute of limitations for returning those Mizunos to Fleet Feet because I need new Ravennas asap. And by asap I mean next week because I went to the grocery store and Ulta (in my desperate attempt to track down Essie's Tarte Deco nailpolish to create the perfect ombre manicure with A Crewed Interest and Haute As Hello but alas they are still out) and it turns out that having a blister in the middle of your foot makes you waddle like, as my dad would say, John Wayne so there's no way I'm leaving the house again to go to Fleet Feet today. But blisters in weird places are a sure sign that your shoes are far past their lifetime, at least for me. Next up will be another bruised toenail and I'd like to avoid that since in another four months or so the current one I have had since February should be gone.

As for my training this week (is it week five? Yes?) it was eh. Work, again, was as crazy as I expected and I was as beat as I expected. I did get a really good run in yesterday, my stomach was raging an epic battle with me that slowed me down (I have the worst stomach of all time) but I felt great for the running parts of it. So great in fact that even though yesterday was my long run day of seven miles I decided that I should do the same thing today. Not my brightest idea ever since you should have some rest between long runs but even though I felt a lot slower I was only 2 minutes slower which was awesome.

Training week 5
Sunday: 5 miles
Monday: 2 miles
Tuesday: Rest
Wednesday: Rest
Thursday: 2 miles
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 7 miles
Total: 16 miles

I was thinking today that I won't have the motivation I've had to train once the Boilermaker is over so I want to try and find a half marathon for the fall...or August or September or whatever. I've started looking and I have some options but I really like my halves to be special unlike most shorter races where I will run anything. Maybe it's because I've only done two so far but I like them to mean something so I don't want to just run one to run one. And I HAVE to get a medal at the end, it's a requirement. Let me know if you know of any and I will keep you all posted since I know you're dying to know ;) I do have a dream race lined up for February and as soon as I officially sign up for it I will tell you all about it.

Also, confession time...I downloaded the MapMyRun app yesterday and it is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I rescind everything I ever said about running without something telling you your mileage in your ear along with your pace and THEN mapping the entire thing so you can compare it day to day. AMAZE!

In other awesome, amazing news as of yesterday...

I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST 30LB!

That's right kids, 30lb gone of the 55lb I gained from not running and being a stupid dumbass in love. That means only 25lb to go until I am at the weight I was at about a year and a half ago and 40lb until I hit my ultimate goal weight (I stopped losing weight when I started my job and understandably so because I travel all the stinkin' time). I'm pretty happy about it and have started squirreling away cash for an awesome prize for when the next 25lb are gone. When I hit 75lb lost before I bought my first iphone (now I carry around two, one for work and one for home so the excitement of that has worn off) and my mom was "supposed" to buy me a Tiffany's necklace when I hit 100lb lost but she conveniently forgot that conversation. No biggie, the amount of clothes I bought made up for it ;)

In relation to that I have a new obsession as of yesterday and I know it won't go away anytime soon which is baked potatoes. Now that they are in my head I won't be able to go a day without eating one, much like my grape obsession a month or two ago (which was killed when grapes went out of season and now they're sour with tough skin). Also, I just bought sugar free Klondike bars while I was waddling through Wegman's to see what they were like and they're ok. They have some flavor but not a lot, I think it's good for my massive sweet tooth that I've had lately but I don't think I would choose them if I wasn't off sugar. I swear if I could throw myself into the chocolate river in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I would happily die of aspiration pneumonia or drowning just to do so in chocolate.

I thought it appropriate to post my Klondike bar next to my favorite running blog of the cutest girl EVER who runs crazy amounts every day and is somehow always ecstatic about it. Believe you me, I'm not ecstatic right now.

These posts always get so long and I always have five million more things to say. Someday I will start posting daily...someday. I want to start posting about fashion and things since I have had a lot (and by a lot I mean four) of girl who have asked me to so be looking for (aka avoiding) that.

Progress and training week 4

Is it normal to fill the hard drive of a 16g iphone? Probably not for the normal human being that really just uses it for email, taking pictures, listening to the same song on repeat, watching youtube and playing Temple Run until their eyes bleed (there was a new version just released and you better believe that took up the majority of my Friday night) but once a week or so my phone tells me I don't have enough memory to take another picture and I still can't delete enough stuff on it to upgrade the software. It probably has something to do with the 2500 pictures (no joke) I have on it but you can't erase memories! At least that's what I will continue to tell myself until I am forced to put them all on my Macbook and delete them from my phone *sob*

Anyway, as I was going through my phone deleting pictures so that I could take yet another photo of something ridiculously adorbs the bun was doing (no idea what it was but I can promise it was not her newest trick of using my FACE to launch herself onto the ottoman) I found a picture of me in my favorite dress that I took in April and I just happened to take another picture in the same dress the other day. Of course I needed to splice them side by side and guess what?

Left picture was taking in April 2012 and the right was June 2012

It looks like this running 5 days a week/crying over no sugar/sobbing over no carbs thing is working. Hallelujah! (And if you can't see a difference please don't tell me because in my head the two pictures are the equivalent of comparing Rosie O'Donnell to Gisele). Also, what do I need to do to be as tall as I look on the right? Because anything over 5'2" would be amazing. Also squared, I am really glad to be rid of that awful Kate Spade iphone case, it looks pretty but it was awful. Can I say awful enough about that case? AWFUL.

My Boilermaker training went ok-ish this week, ok in that I ran, not in that I wussed out on many of the runs. To be fair this week at work was brutal (with the next two weeks doubling that) and Father's Day was today which meant I spent almost all five miles crying like a damn loon. I ran though and that's what matters and I'm hopefule this week will be better. I already have plans to get up at 5:30am tomorrow to be done with my run before I have to leave.

Training week four:
Sunday 7 miles
Monday rest
Tuesday rest
Wednesday 2 miles
Thursday 2 miles
Friday rest
Saturday 3 miles

Total: 14 miles. Eh.

But what keeps me running? Refer to picture above combined with this and there is my motivation in a nutshell.

I just realized that my elbow is sunburned from driving today. Fist pound to the other pale white girls who understand my pain, I also have a weird patch on my back from not being able to put sunscreen on it yesterday (SPF 70 btw).

Can I tell you a secret? I have no desire to do laundry today so I will be running in dirty socks tomorrow and it won't be the first time that's happened. And now you know.

Frozen yogurt is my favorite! Tied with running, of course.

I love Ikea. Love with a capitol L O V E. Sadly, the closest one in any direction of where I live is 4 hours. I have no idea why Ikea and Chick Fil A hate upstate NY so much but they should stop and come closer to me.

The good news is that there is an Ikea about an hour from the very edge of my downstate territory so sometimes I suck it up to drive through NJ just to wander around the amazingness that is cheap Swedish design. Sadly, they no longer make the nightstand that matches the one I have (nor do they have one tall enough for my bed since it appears that the Swedes prefer to sleep with their mattresses directly on the floor whereas I am a princess and require my bed as close to the ceiling as possible) which was the whole reaosn for my visit so I left empty handed and confused about what to do with the left side of my bed. Although I didn't really leave empty handed because I was able to make the one hour drive worth it with one of my favorite things on the planet...

Frozen yogurt! One dollar. One hundred calories. One happy Mary.

Soft serve frozen yogurt also hates upstate NY. Maybe it's time to move?

To add to my frozen yogurt happiness I'm happy to report that I hit the goal weight I had set for myself for the end of May today! That means 8lb lost in May and 25lb lost since February. Go me! I'm not willing to tell you what the exact numbers are right now but maybe someday :) When I lost weight the first time I rarely talked about it and never talked about numbers and that's the way I am now. I always read that you need to create a support system and confide in people to be successful but that's not how I work in life and it's not how I work with weightloss. But at the end of it all I will probably share. I am not sure what the goal I will set for myself for June but hopefully it will be the same or better than May's because I don't have a week's worth of eating Chick Fil A and sitting on my bum to counteract.

This morning I did a three or four mile run (I'm not sure because part of the lake was blocked off so they could work on the trail so I had to turn around and back track). I did wear my Ravennas today and they felt a lot better than the Mizunos (do you like my lack of continuity where I call one pair by the shoe name and one by the brand name?) although I did get a blister. I'm not counting it though because it didn't hurt which means it didn't exist. My logic = awesome. My shoe saga continues though since I'm not sure what to do just yet. Maybe run in my hiking boots? Because THOSE never give me blisters.

Oh! But guess what! About 2 miles in I totally hit my sweet spot! The spot where my brain turns off, my stride lengthens and I just run. It's what I've been waiting for and I'm not sure when it will be back but for a mile or so it was there so I know that it's on the horizon! Hooray!

I'm taking tomorrow off from running to let my feet heel a little bit and because my knee hurt a lot today. I think it was because it was a lot cooler today, it's been in the 80's at 7:30am and today it was 65 and glorious. I run on a torn meniscus in my left knee that I opted not to have surgery on so sometimes the arthritis in it acts up and I need to give it a day or two to stop aching.

Saturday though, I'm back at it. Anything more than one rest day now and I get antsy. And that, my friends, means the magic is coming back :)

My thoughts on food.

I woke up to a bun on the lam this morning. A crash woke me up earlier but then I went back to sleep convinced it was something falling over in my shower (that happens) and came out into the living room after I really woke up to find the bun come flying out of the closet she's not allowed in (because Trixie's litter box is in there). Turns out she went all Hulk and somehow forced the doors of her cage open. She came right to me and is now sitting in her cage looking really guilty but I haven't actually found anything she destroyed which is a damn Christmas miracle in May. Time will tell though because I have no idea how long she was out.

Buns.

I am FINALLY getting over this Illness of Doom well over a week later but am still really tired and haven't been able to run in almost two weeks. Seeing as I have the Mountain Goat this Sunday, the 10 mile race I've been training for for 6 weeks, this should be interesting. And by interesting I mean terrifying because I might die at this one. I know I say that a lot but this time I mean it. I'm still excited though, oddly enough. There's going to be a few hills I walk for sure and I will be nowhere near my time from two years ago but NEXT year I'm looking to do it in under an hour and a half. And I will.

I was just reading Self magazine and I saw a quote from Bethanny Frankel (who I don't particularly love but only because she's borderline insane) who said something that really rings true to me: "Any diet that says to limit eating watermelon but processed protein bars are good means we've become stupid" and I completely agree. The issue that I have with diets like the Paleo Diet (which you may remember I was researching a few weeks ago) are that they teach you that some foods are "bad". In my opinion if it's fresh then it's good for you, even breads. Yes, I am limiting my carbs right now but that's because it's my own science experiment. I don't think carbohydrates are bad for you and if I did I wouldn't be planning on spending the next 4 days eating as much as possible to be ready for my race on Sunday. Your body needs certain things for fuel and to be honest, the whole "eating like a caveman" thing frustrates me to no end because they weren't healthy and they didn't live very long. You can even fast forward many years to find sailors dying from scurvy from lack of vitamin C or people with an iodine deficiency which is why it's in iodized table salt now. I was worried that I was eating too many grapes but then I realized it's fruit, for goodness sake! And it's better than eating a bag of donuts so whatever, if I'm going to eat 2lb of grapes a day then so be it. I'll be past that phase soon enough since it's just one of my random food obsessions.

To add onto that some I was talking to a friend about losing weight yesterday and I told her one of my mantras and that's that there is no such thing as good and bad food. Food is fuel and it's not something to reward yourself with or something that you deserve because you had a bad day. It's something that your body needs to run properly and the better fuel you give it, the better it will run. That being said eating a piece of chocolate cake (or heck, even half the cake) doesn't have to ruin your whole eating plan for the day nor will it take 4 years from your life or force you into a gluten allergy. The idea of eating clean and limiting refined sugar and watching your carb intake is a good one and one that I try to stick to but sometimes cake just has to happen. And to be honest, I spend more time worrying about the rate at which we're burning through fossil fuel (that we get from countries that don't have unions or regulations on collecting it to keep their workers safe), the rate at which we are overpopulating the planet, the decrease in farming because it's no longer a high profit making business, the melting of the polar ice caps and whether or not my cat is hyperthyroid and how the hell I am going to medicate her daily if she is than I do about what I should and shouldn't eat because it will cut 45.6 hours off of my life.

In short, there are a lot of things in life to worry about so what you eat shouldn't take up too much of your time. Eat mostly healthy foods. Stay away from fast food places but if you need to eat some chicken nuggets once in a while then go for it (for the record the Happy Meals at McDonalds have some awesome apple sticks that are highly chemical filled and highly delicious). Don't beat yourself up if you eat a Kit Kat..or two. Or a Panera smoothie. Just get off the couch and exercise if you do! And for pete's sake be easy on yourself if you're trying to lose weight. My mom, who has been a size 6 my whole life and who is 5'7", tries to tell me all the time that her trying to quit smoking is much harder than me losing over 100lb. Ha I say to that. HA! She has no idea. No one makes a sugar patch to slap on when you're craving a Chik Fil A Milkshake or a fake cheeseburger to eat that tastes just like the real thing but with none of the side effects. And people who are trying to quit smoking are commended and congratulated while people who are trying to lose weight are expected to do so. It's not the same thing. At all. (This is not to say that quitting smoking is easy by any means and I am well aware that it's not).

Anyway, a book I really like is In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan and the first page says this:
Eat food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.

Sadly, he forgot cake. From Wegman's. The Ultimate Chocolate Cake. But otherwise that's a solid motto. Stick to that and you'll be in a good place.

Of course, this is all just my opinion and it's how I choose to live. If something else works for you, rock on! And tell me about it, there aren't a lot of things I don't like to research the snot out of :)

Am I crazy? Don't answer that.

I'm sick. And I'm not happy about it.

I haven't been sick in at least a year. I attribute it to running all the time and getting an annual flu shot. Oh, and eating pretty healthy. Seriously. But I could feel this coming on since Tuesday and tried to fight it, unsuccessfully. I was exhausted all week and instead of getting up early every morning to run I just laid in bed until the last possible minute before I had to get up. Last night I started feeling really miserable and it hit me like a Mack truck this morning. I drove 4 hours home instead of actually doing any work today (I was in overtime anyway) and I'm worried that I'm not going to have it in me to run the race I wanted to do tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm writing about it because I have no one else to whine to. So you're welcome.

I had two major things that happened today. Things that blew my mind and I therefore expect them to blow yours.

1) I realized that I actually like the treadmill. I know, I'm shocked too! I've spent so long hating them but it's because I kept putting them in the mindset of distance running but I really needed to just pigeon hole it into speedwork and kicking the snot out of myself for 3 hard miles vs working on 5 or 6 easy miles. When I haven't been on a treadmill for a few days I start to itch for a good hard run that makes me sweat like a beast and lay on the floor of my hotel room gasping for air once I manage to make my way back there. This is epiphany is making me think that I might need to join a gym and not rely on the 2-3 days a week I'm at a hotel. Pure crazy talk.

Even crazier?

2) I am seriously thinking about doing a marathon. I don't want to. I haven't changed my mind about that. But I might need to for reasons that I will go into at some other point if I do it. And if I do it will be a purely selfless act (because I don't WANT to do it) and I will need to raise about $4000-$5000 in order to do it. It's something that presented itself to me today so I'm kind of kicking it around my mind right now but I am giving it some decent consideration. And because of it I am 100% positive my badass Marine cousin Todd who runs marathons barefoot is sitting somewhere in the Philippines chewing nails while sitting on broken glass and cheering that he may get me over to the dark side yet.

I wouldn't count your chickens just yet though, buddy.


Last weekend I ran a race in Maine that my company sponsored and it was easily one of the most fun races I have ever done. I ran with SO many people I knew and there were so many people cheering us on that it was like a huge race made out of my family. For an inaugural race it was really well organized and the 5k route was mapped out so that part of it went through the woods on a trail which was fun. To be honest I didn't really want to make the 12 hour round trip drive just to run 3.1 miles but my friend convinced me to since she was coming from St. Louis and it would be her first race. So I gave it and I'm glad I did because it was AWESOME and hanging out with my coworkers slash friends slash family for a whole weekend was exactly what I needed. I miss those crazy Mainahs already.

So does the honey badger even though usually he don't care.

In the last month I've messed around with what I've been eating a lot and settled on no carb/no refined sugar except for carbs on Thursdays and Fridays. As a result I've lost 3lb which would typically discourage me but it's not. My body is on to me from the first weight loss round when I lost a Bertha's worth of chub so it's hanging on for dear life and I'm ok with it coming off slowly because it's not going to win. No flippin way. Plus to be fair the amount of calories I consumed in Maine were enough to gain a pound or two and I've been sick all week and not exercising more than my remote finger so it's ok. Plus I lost an inch in a few places so it's coming from where it matters! And I will win.

And I fit in my blazer again! Yahtzee!! Although let's be honest, I'm not wearing that baby buttoned for any extended period of time. Like ever.

I guess I can't have a post without a bun update. Last weekend I ordered her a toy called an Einstein toy from a seller on Etsy that makes bunny toys. It has little wooden pieces that she has to lift up to find treats under to keep her occupied. I haven't tried it with her yet but it (and the other toy I ordered her) came in a box stuff with hay instead of packing material and it was like her Christmas, Birthday and Bunday all rolled into one. She burrowed in that box for at least 45 minutes and kept popping up to stand on her hind legs and then dive back down under the hay. As a matter of fact she's back in there right now. It's the simple things, I guess.

Sometimes you feel like a run, sometimes you don't.

This morning I almost died because I had gone over 12 hours with no grapes. Closer to 24, actually. I didn't buy any last night because I wanted to use it as a motivator to get up and run this morning which did and didn't work. I did get up, I did put on my running clothes and I did get in the car....only to discover it was raining. I. Don't. Do. Rain. I made a valiant effort in actually driving to the lake, sitting in the car for 5 minutes and then saying to myself, "I'll run on the treadmill when I get to my hotel tonight" (so hold me to it!) and then went to Wegman's to buy 2lb of delicious awesomeness. Point being, sometimes a workout happens and sometimes it doesn't but that doesn't mean you can't redeem yourself later...if I actually do, that is.

Oh, and I also couldn't run this morning because I did 60 squats yesterday, 30 with weights and 30 without, so my legs are like walking on stilts. I'm in a constant state of OMFGOW these days but I'm cool with it, I deserve it after months of Olive Garden and couch surfing.

Overall this low carb thing is going ok. I have a ridiculous resolve when I decide I am or am not doing something so I haven't been craving much. I'm not even sure that I want to eat any complex carbs tomorrow but I know I need to or else I won't have any energy for my long run Saturday. I'm probably going to slowly start adding them back in next week anyway though so I need to get used to them again. But I've been two weeks without sugar! (I don't count the weekend when I ate frosting and two inches of cake though, it was a holiday). I don't forsee it coming back any time soon either.
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Fast forward several hour and a couple hundred miles later and it's tonight! And I did run, I did some speedwork on the treadmill in the fitness room and my motivator was that I wasn't allowed to eat dinner (Panera chopped chicken cobb salad, yum!) or read my new books until I ran. It wasn't a glorious run by any means, my legs hurt and I actually called my ipod some unsavory names for playing two of my power songs in a row when I was doing speedwork but I did it and now I'm on my bum so it was worth it. Back at it in the morning.

And can I just interject to say how unhappy I am that Hilton seems to think that two ESPN channels AND a GOLF channel are more important than having Bravo?? I am so not happy. Sososososo not happy. But I am watching Survivor and I like the little guy and I found a super big comfy blanket in the closet that I'm burritoed in right now so my rage has slightly subsided.

But back to the real awesome part of that paragraph, new books, you say? Yes, new books. So Panera was right next to Target and I got to my hotel early so I went over to get another pair of cheap running pants...and ended up with books instead. Typical. But the books I got are both really great, I got:

I used to have all the Eat This, Not That a couple of years ago but I lent them to a guy and then quickly learned that until I am married I will never let another man touch my books. You heard it hear first, folks. I'm pretty excited about this one though, I saw a list of snacks that they rated with grading like a high school test. These books are a must have if you travel or eat out a lot, I love them.

The other book is a new release by a woman who's blog I read, Kelle Hampton. Her writing is so beautiful and true and I can't wait to read her book. I hope it lives up to my lofty expectations. It's a hardcover, which I hate, but I think this book might be best purchased as hardcover. I'll let you know how it is though.

For anyone wondering, the bun is doing ok. She's been quiet and wanting to be around me more (when I'm not dragging her out of her cage to give her her pain medication and check her mouth) but she's eating well so I'm happy about that. I hate being away from her tonight though, I changed my whole schedule to go back home with her tomorrow. Spoiled bun...

Finally, a use for my phone book!

How carbs affect my running...and Raegan is 1!

The randoms:

Last week my trainer for work was riding with me for a few days when I saw something that caught my eye: a place called "Clip Shoppe" which I naturally started freaking out over being the most brilliant name of all time. Imagine my disappointment when he pointed out that the business was actually a grooming place and not the low cost spay and neuter clinic that I had initially thought. Wouldn't it have been the most awesome name EVER if it had been though? Sometimes I think I have been in veterinary medicine for far too long when things like this happen and sometimes I think that I am just getting started. It's a peek into how my brain works though and if I were you I wouldn't try digging any deeper.

Speaking of which is there anything better than stumbling across a Deadliest Catch marathon? I think not.


Also, did you read my post about my crafting extravaganza? Well Shannon, the matermind behind it, is hosting a giveaway. Check it out!


The real reason we're here:
Despite my long drawn out post the other day about why I decided not to cut complex carbs out of my diet after all...I kind of did. Other than apples I barely had any carbs last week and none at all on Thursday or Friday. Thursday, if you recall, is the day that I went to Zumba and I was exhausted while doing it. I attributed this to spending most of the day with a migraine but I am now thinking it may have something to do with my lack of bread products because of the disaster that was today.

Today was my third training run for the Mountain Goat run and I got to the run ok. I was a little stiff and sore still from Zumba but nothing major, I slept pretty well last night and I even met a nice lady who was looking for her friends while I was waiting for mine. However as soon as I took my first few steps running I was miserable. Not only did I have lead feet I had lead everything. I literally felt like someone had poured concrete into every appendage and then told me to run. I tried my hardest but it was a difficult run, I fought for every one of those 6.5 miles. I was pretty disappointed considering how much better I felt last week vs the previous week but not every run is a good one and I know that.

I would be willing to bet that my issues were a combination of Zumba kicking my butt and not having enough glycogen in my reserves. I can't eat at all before a race because I have an awful stomach that hates me and has since birth so I have to rely on what I ate the day and night before to get me through a run. Seeing as I mostly ate eggs, yogurt, chicken and green beans on Thursday and Friday that isn't much for my body to work with. I had some pretty awesome results on the scale this week (5lb whaaaat??) but I just don't think I can sustain a low carb/high running diet.

I think that what I am going to do is try to stay low carb during the week and then add them in on Thursdays and Fridays before my long run on Saturday. Hopefully that will do the trick. On one hand it is a little frustrating but to be honest, the whole science behind figuring out exactly what my body needs to perform the way I ask it to PLUS lose weight is pretty interesting to me. I like beating myself into submission and seeing what I can force my body to do.

I also wanted to add that until today I had been 6 days sugar free however it was my niece's birthday so I ate the frosting off a cupcake (and almost died from the sugar, holy hell!). But if she was eating one then I was eating one! Back on the wagon tomorrow though and I'm ok with it.

Because I can't throw that in there without talking about one of my favorite people on the planet, her name is Raegan and she was born a year ago yesterday on one of the best days of my life. Her parents are two of my very best friends (I am an only child so she's not my biological niece) and have been since college. Her mom and I are polar opposites and sometimes I wonder how we came to be such good friends because she is perfection in human form and I am....a work in progress ;). We even lived in the same house for several years with me upstairs and Katee and Eric downstairs while Eric finished his architecture degree (and he's brilliant...just ask me, I'll tell you all about it). They are only a year older than me but have been married for 13 years, 8 of which I spent begging them to have kids so that I could have someone to buy lots of things for and teach how to hike and build rock castles and teach how to identify fossils and (since she is a girl) buy every princess/glitter/rainbow item I could find.

Of course they waited until they moved away two years ago to have a baby but she was worth the wait! Enter baby Raegan a year ago...she's the cutest thing I've ever seen because she looks just like her daddy with her mommy's amazing eyes and at this point looks similar enough to me that people think we are related when I carry her around (win!). It's been a great year even though I didn't get to see her nearly as much as I would like but I still can't wait for the next year! Because soon I will be able to buy her princess dresses, muahahaha!!!

At the baby shower and one of my favorite pictures of all time, Eric is laughing and I'm crying like a loon.

Proud Auntie on the day after she was born!

Katee's dad is a professional photographer, I've gotten used to having my picture taken when I didn't know it was happening.

A few weeks after she was born, so snuggly!

At her birthday party today! Definitely not my best picture (what's up with my wonky eye??) but she looks so pensive, I love it!


Happy birthday to one of the most amazing little people on the planet! 

Race report: Yuengling Half Marathon

I would like to start out this post with the key takeway points that you should glean from this if you reach the end:

1) I have the most amazing friends and family in the world.
2) I am insane.
3) Biofreeze is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
4) I am insane.

Now that the cliff notes version has been provided here is the pre-story synopsis:

Last year I signed up for the Yuengling Half Marathon in Virginia Beach with the intention of running it in 2 hours or less to beat my previous race time of 2:20ish. Then I started having heart problems and ended up paying an extra $35 to have my registration deferred to this year. I have been determined to run this race since I forked over that extra $35 (in addition to the $100+ for registration) but had become even more determined the last 2 months. However, I had not been able to get the appropriate training in and have only been able to run about 2 miles 1-3 times a week since the middle of January.

Fast forward to last week...
I was still up in the air about whether or not I could run this race even though mentally I knew I needed to do it. At first I needed to do it because I wanted to prove subconsciously to someone else that I could but then it became about me and I needed to prove to MYSELF that I could do it. I'd lost my running mojo and I needed it back fast. My awesome best friend since high school stepped up to the plate and said that she would go with me as I'd lost my previous cheerleader but I was wavering back and forth for the last month over whether to do it or not. Last weekend became critical mass when someone tried to talk me out of doing it lest I hurt myself and a switch flipped in my head and it was game on. Nothing will make me want to do something more than when someone tells me not to or that I can't (except to eat broccoli...or do my dishes immediately within a few days of dirtying them). I emailed my aunt and uncle on Wednesday and asked if I could stay with them and of course, because they are super awesome, they said I could despite the last minute warning and this race became a reality.

Fast forward to Saturday...
I spent Friday getting ready to go (obsessively packing, prepping my ipod, painting my race shirt, pacing for no reason, sharing strawberries with the bun, etc) and we left very early Saturday morning in a brand new Dodge Charger with only 2 miles on it that National car rental let me have after I whined that there was no way I was driving an Altima or a Jetta to VA Beach (I'm an Executive Elite member due to work so if I whine enough they usually cave ;). The drive was about 8 hours and Beth spent the majority of it sleeping with a short break to listen to the SU NCAA game (we won!). We arrived in VA Beach with 45 minutes to go before the Expo closed where I needed to get my bib and goodie bag. As soon as I got my stuff and walked through the expo I started having a panic attack, went back to the car and cried like a loser with my face smashed on the steering wheel of a brand new car that I was scared out of my mind that I wasn't going to be able to do it. It's tough admit my breakdown in a major public forum but there you go: I'm not perfect, I'm not always strong and I am my own worst enemy. But Beth, being amazing and having known me since the bad hair/no makeup/Chic jeans days, knew how to calm me down and we eventually went to my Aunt and Uncle's so I could try to sleep after driving the course (I never drive the course before the race but I really wanted to this time...of course it turns out I drove the marathon course but whatever, it calmed my nerves so it worked).

Stuff I got at the expo: a bag, a technical shirt and my race bib (note the Corral 2...HA!)

Sunday, the day of the race:
I woke up before my alarm and made Beth drive me to the race lest I crash into a telephone pole. True to my normal form I was extremely touchy and anxious before the race but it happens every time so at least I'm consistent. We found parking and started making our way to the start line in some pretty mild weather with light wind. We came across a McDonald's and I decided I needed to go to the bathroom even though I never do before a race. While I was waiting there was another woman in front of me. We made small talk and she told me that the weather was much more mild than the year before. I responded that my friends who ran it last year said it was awful and that I was supposed to run it last year too but had to drop out due to my heart problems. I told her, a complete stranger, that I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to get through it due to my lack of training. That's when she told me that she understood, she had run the marathon the year before and had done great but had suffered two miscarriages in the last 4 months so she hadn't had much time to train and she was just going to do the best she could. I told her that I was sorry and she said that she was ok with the miscarriages and as far as the race was just going to take things slow. We joked that we would see each other walking and would touch base again then (I never did see her again, what with 13,000 people running plus spectators).

It amazes me sometimes how wrapped up in our own misery and uncertainty we can be and forget about the world around us. When things seem really bad I have always tried to focus on the fact that someone else has it so much worse and I am so blessed even if it doesn't seem that way. Here I was, standing in the middle of a McDonald's bathroom, meeting a kindred spirit who gave me my resolve back in a 2 minute conversation. We had both spent the last few months suffering from a broken heart but hers seemed so much bigger than mine. I have always said that everyone has a story that can make you cry and the woman I met gave me the courage and calmness to go into the race. I have no idea who she was but she changed everything for me in those few minutes and I owe my success in part to her.

After I left McDonald's we started walking and walking and walking. It turns out that we were MUCH father away from the start line than we had realized. After about a mile and a half with the start time inching closer and closer I started to panic because I couldn't see the start line and could hear them counting down the race. I left my coat with Beth and hurried to the line with almost no time to spare. Because when I signed up I was planning on running the race in less than 2 hours I had been placed in Corral 2 but decided to stick in Corral 7, aka the last corral, when I finally got to the start line. They were letting the corrals go one at a time in waves so luckily the countdowns I was hearing was for the first two corrals. I only waited 10 minutes or so before the gun went off and it was time to run!

If you caught my mention of it earlier yes, I did use my ipod for this race. Mentally I needed the crutch of my own personal dance party to get me through it since I had no idea if I was going to be walking 5 or 13 miles. My goal going in was to run a mile, walk a mile and do that for the entire race. I started out very slow in order to conserve my energy but I still somehow managed to miss the first mile marker. By the time I saw mile marker 2 I looked down at my watch and saw that I was managing 12 minute miles. Definitely not my fastest pace ever (actually my slowest by far) but I was happy that I was doing pretty well and staying consistent. I told myself I would get through mile 3 and then slow down to walk. I figured I would text Beth and my aunt to let them know where I was at that time however true to form when I got to mile 3 I still felt ok so I pushed it to 4, then 5, then before I knew it I saw mile 6...the almost halfway mark. I swear that I was on cloud 9 at that point, I had already pushed much harder than I thought I could and was still feeling pretty good. 2 of those 6 miles were all uphill on a steady gradient and I somehow made it all the way up! The weather was absolutely perfect, about 60 degrees with a light breeze and sunny but not too sunny. A beautiful day to run.

After mile 6 I decided to walk for 5 minutes and then run the rest of mile 7 to try and save some energy to get to the end. I've never run out of energy for a race but that's of course because I was trained for it and didn't want to run out at the end. I did this every mile up until mile 10 when out of nowhere I hit the wall. "The wall" in the running world is when mentally and physically you get to the point where you feel like you just can't go any farther. I have never actually hit it before but it was literally like I slammed into a huge brick wall and just wanted to lay down anywhere. This is the point when I start to lose a lot of time because I was walking so slowly and literally started staring at the side of the road in longing, thinking that maybe I could just sit for 5 or 10 minutes. My shoulders hurt so bad that I wanted to cry and I was just trying to find a position to keep moving without being in pain but I'm not going to sugar coat it, the last 3 miles were brutal. I kept trying to talk myself into running but I just couldn't physically do it, my feet were like lead and my knees were like rubber.

After what felt like an eternity I finally I hit mile 12 and the boardwalk to Virginia Beach. I was determined to run over the finish line no matter how slow I was going and I'm happy to say that I did! My overall time was pretty slow but that didn't matter to me. I went into this race just trying to get through it and do my best and I was happy just to cross the finish line. As soon as I was over the line they put my medal around my neck and then handed me my finishers hat, a bunch of food and my finishers sweatshirt. Beth was following along next to me since the finish line was all blocked off and it felt like it took me forever to get through the line and finally get to a point that I could lay down on the grass and try not to die. Everything in my body hurt but the day was beautiful and sunny, the ocean was amazing and I was beyond happy.

After I sat around for a few minutes recuperating (and announcing on Facebook that I finished, natch) we went onto the beach to look at the sand sculpture and go into the finisher's tent. They were giving out free Yuengling and Irish stew and had a band playing, it was like a huge sweaty party. I was exhausted though so we headed back to my aunt and uncle's house so I could shower and sit down. My shoulders hurt so bad at that point that I literally thought I was going to pass out so my aunt gave me some Biofreeze to put on them and let me tell you what...I have no idea where it's been all my life but holy baloney, it was amazing! I have really sensitive skin so it burned pretty bad but it was so much better than how much shoulders were feeling.

This is what I painted on the back of my shirt on Friday, SO many people tapped me on the shoulder during the race to tell me how much they liked it! (The front of my shirt was just a big green shamrock)

On my way back from the race I told Beth that I was determined to eat 5000 calories or else the race wasn't worth it so we went to Red Robin after I showered and I drank my weight in rootbeer floats and ate a bunch of mozzarella sticks. I don't think I came anywhere close to 5000 calories (nor did I want to) but it was definitely a well deserved meal. I did get a hot fudge parfait from Dairy Queen later that night though and enjoyed with with a side of Biofreeze since the torn meniscus in my knee was acting upby then.

The next day I drove the whole 10 hours home while Beth slept, stopping at Sonic for a gallon of Cherry Limeade and Chik Fil A for chicken tortilla soup along the way. I was in a massive amount of pain and could barely walk but that was only because I wasn't properly trained. After my last half marathon I was absolutely fine the next day so I am looking forward to my next one being much more comfortable and MUCH faster.

My next one, you say? Oh yes, you read that correctly. My running mojo is back in full force and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot of races coming up this summer (I started training for my next 10 miler yesterday) and I can't wait. CAN'T WAIT!!! (Well, now that I can walk again :P)

In conclusion: I am equal parts awesome and insane so look out, world!

That is my "exhausted" face. Please remember that this is a judge free zone (in regards to you judging me, I can judge whomever I want). Also, my medal has a bottle opener on the bottom and a detacheable charm, how awesome is that??

Today I am breaking up with my scale...for a month.

First, some shout outs going to:

-My best friend since high school who recently got engaged! I'm over the moon for her, she found the perfect guy for her and the best part is I used to babysit him back in the day so I saw him in his underwear first! Muahahahaha!

-My makeup discoveries for the last few weeks: Benefit They're Real! Mascara, Smashbox Halo Hydrating Perfecting Power (in the shade "Super translucent white red haired girl", aka fair which is KICKING my normal Bare Minerals' hiney), Nars lipgloss in Chihuahua and Essie nailpolish in "A Crewed Interest'. I'm not sure which I love the most, honestly. Probably the lipgloss, it's ridiculously expensive but actually beats my favorite lipgloss of all time, a shade by Philisophy that they don't even make anymore. (womp womp). Yes, I have a makeup obsession and no, I am not interested in apologizing for it.

-Chick Fil A. Omg, Chick Fil A! They have them in Northern Virginia, ya know. Where I was staying Tuesday and Wednesday. And therefore where I ate Tuesday and Wednesday and did not feel bad about it. Oh, and then I found out there is one in a mall in New Jersey so I went there last night before I drove home. I didn't get back until 11pm because of it but it was SO worth it. Thank God we don't have them in NY, that's all I'm gonna say.

Anti shout-outs to:

- My head for giving me a solid migraine for the last 3 days. It started on Thursday at 6am when I got to Dulles airport to fly home from DC and hasn't quit since. In it's wake it has given me the inability to have any patience whatsoever for two full days of work because all I wanted to do was lay in a dark room and die or at the very least try to dig a hole through my forehead in the hopes of relieving the pressure, neither of which I could do in public. It also ruined my ability to go on a hiking/snowshoeing trip to Vermont with friends today that I have been counting the days until for MONTHS because I can't drive. I hate migraines. And I hate that crying makes them worse. And I'm crying because I didn't want to miss this trip. And because I am a crier.

-A BIG thumbs down to Amazon who hasn't shipped the bun's new mansion yet. Usually there are on top of shipments but it's been a WEEK. And she needs her new house!

-The bun for realizing within 30 seconds of being released from her cage today that I am not at 100% capacity and therefore using it to her advantage to play in Trixie's litter box for at least 10 minutes before I realized I had left the closet door open. Although it was pretty genius of her so I guess she gets props for that. However she is now back in her house frantically taking an extendo-bath because hello! Kitty boxes are stinky. Goober.

Now she is in the corner of her cage with her little head on her paws because she knows she was bad. That makes me even more sad which means she will receive a yogurt drop as soon as I am done with this and yes, I realize that that is rewarding her for bad behavior but she's a BUNNY and YOU try punishing her for more than 10 seconds. Impossible.

Also I can't leave this out, last night she received a fruit cup that I drove 3.5hours home from New Jersey with and she KILLED it the same way I would kill a Sprinkles cupcake. Kinda made me proud.

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I'm not Catholic but I am giving something up for Lent anyway. And by Lent I mean March. Because I'm not Catholic so it doesn't need to be accurate, right?

So what am I giving up for a month? My scale. And my tape measure. For close to 3 years I have weighed myself every single day that I am home. It helped a LOT with my weight loss because it really helped keep me in check because even if I knew that there was no way that I could gain 3lb in a day, if I saw that it would keep me in line for the day. I know that "they" say that you shouldn't weigh yourself daily but "they" also say that the odds of losing weight on your own are against you, that it's nearly impossible to lose 120lb in a year without starving yourself, that chances of gaining back all the weight you lost within the first 2 years are high, that running will permanently injure you. But I like to prove "them" wrong all the time.

Recently though I have found myself really frustrated that the scale isn't moving much. I am pretty recently back on the wagon so I'm nowhere near perfect and my body isn't going to respond the same way this time around. I need to get my metabolism back in order first and I know that logically but mentally it's hard. I am feeling better and my running is getting there (even though I am taking it really slow which is frustrating in its own right) and I need to focus on those things, not what the numbers on a scale say. Numbers are just that: they're numbers. I've never worried about my age so why am I beating myself up over what my scale says? Why does the fact that the needle stays on the same number every morning have the ability to put a dark cloud over my day that hasn't even started? These are illogical things that aren't helping me.

I am aware of the fact that once I am back to running 30-40 miles a week again my weight will have nowhere to go but down. I know that as I get myself more used to eating 6-7 times a day again my metabolism will flourish in the way it has in the past. I know that the more I get used to eating the things that help my body perform the way I ask it to the less I will crave the things that do nothing to help it. What I need to do is stop beating myself up over a number and focus on how I feel.

For the next month I am not weighing myself or taking any measurements of myself. I'm instead going to focus on the two races I have this month and eating to get my body ready for them. And I'm going to actively stop being so hard on myself. It's really easy to beat myself up over everything that I see as a negative but I'm getting rid of that for the month too.

In summary:
no scale
no tape measure
no self loathing
for all of March....and maybe even longer.

And maybe I'll stay out of Sephora, too.







Nah.

Pour some sugar on me

I gave up refined sugar today. My goal was to make it at least 4 weeks because my record is 3 weeks.

I made it 7 hours.

To be fair to myself I didn't mean to do it. I went to lunch with someone who was riding with me for work today and we went to my old faithful, Panera. As we were talking, I absent mindedly got a small cup, filled it a quarter full of half Sprite and half fruit punch and drank it as I do every time I'm at Panera (that inch of soda is the only soda I ever have). Then I realized what I'd done.

Crap.

To not be fair to myself my hotel tonight gave me a warm cookie at check in and I ate it. But back to giving myself credit (I'm liking this "I am awesome!!!" game) I went to Chick-Fil-A for the second time ever and ordered a grilled chicken salad. And an order of small waffle fries but they don't count because it was only the second time I had ever been there. Therefore the cookie was my reward for not getting chicken nuggets. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

(On a side note, I am convinced that no one gets as excited over stupid random stuff like I do and there is not much I love more than Chick-Fil-A. The fact that they say "My Pleasure" after every time you say "Thank you" is beyond amazing. It's magical. It makes me downright giddy.)

So why am I giving up sugar? It's because I am a sugaraholic and I will crave it like an addict craves crack. It will get so bad that if I have nothing else in the house I will eat a spoonful of straight sugar. I have never been an overeater in my whole life so it's not about that, it's more about craving sweet things until I eat something that is. When I cut out sugar for a few weeks it helps me stop "needing" it or thinking that I do.

For the last 2 years I have cut out refined sugar (almost) completely off and on to reset myself. I have never noticed any weight loss from it but I know that people who lose a lot of weight from cutting out sugar will also cut out all bleached flour and fruit. I am ok without bleached flour because I rarely have it anyway but I can't give up fruit. I don't eat a lot of vegetables so I feel like fruit offsets that (in moderation). During strawberry season I eat literally 2lb a day, it's a problem. The bun would be pretty sad if I didn't eat fruit anymore too because we both have a serious apple addiction.

The things that I typically cut out are anything that I usually eat that are sweet (besides fruit): jam, chocolate *sob*, Luna bars, gum, you name it. The only thing besides fruit that I allow myself is yogurt because I just can not get used to Greek yogurt straight. I just can't. I don't eat it a lot though, usually just after my Sunday long runs when I am trying to get as much protein as I can in.

It turns out that my "cut it out" method works pretty well in regards to my sugar problems (and more recently to other areas of my life) and it helps me stop thinking about it. Eventually I am able to add it back in in small amounts and that things usually stay good for 6 or more months (until I eat a half a gallown of vanialla buttercream frosting and the whole things starts going downhill). If you're having a hard time moderating yourself with something just cut it out completely. It will be hard the first week or two but I swear that once you get used to it you will barely even think about it. Don't do it gradually, just get rid of it. I promise you will get a lot of clarity from it.

Winter running at it's finest.

This morning I was all set to go run 4 miles to prep for my race in 2 weeks. Usually we run early, around 8:15, but we were running at a different place *cough* bar *cough* from downtown Syracuse so I didn't need to be there until 9:15. When I talked to my friend at 8:15 to decide if we should go or not due to weather we barely had gotten an inch of snow overnight and it was very lightly snowing at the point. By the time I left my house at 9:00 we were in a complete white out with wet lake effect and it was accumulating fast. This is typical for Syracuse but I've been lulled into a false sense of security because we have had almost no snow fall this year. For an example of how fast we can get hit, here is a picture of my house on a Tuesday afternoon in November of 2010 when on Monday morning we had full grass and absolutely no snow:

Lake effect snow is no joke 'round these parts.

By the time I was on the road this morning I realized that this run was going to be a rough one if for no other reason than the visibility (or lack thereof).

I arrived at our meeting point on time but due to some miscommunication we didn't start running until a half hour later and by then the rest of the group (all four people that braved the elements)  had already taken off. We had plans to run the canal trail but that didn't happen because we couldn't even see the signs to direct us to the path. I couldn't see much of anything, actually, because by then we had about 4 inches of fresh, wet snow on the ground with more slamming me in the face as we were running into the wind. As soon as it would hit my face it would melt sending sheets of water running in my eyes and making it impossible to see. My friend fared better because she had a hat but I was unhappy. SO unhappy. We ambled around downtown Syracuse for around 2 miles until we ran by a building that huge chunks of slush were falling off of. Because I was closest to the building I first got nailed by a huge wet chunk falling from the roof on my back, then my legs and finally directly on top of my head. At that point I called uncle because I was soaking wet, couldn't see a darn thing and was miserable. The bottom of my pants and shoes also weighed about 5lb more because of the amount of slush that they had accumulated.

In other words, I should have won a darn trophy for being out in that weather today.

But of course I am happier that I went out vs staying at home. Mind you I am currently on the couch with 8 layers of clothes and a down comforter (and a cat) on me and am STILL freezing but it was worth it. It always is. I just never want to do it again. I hate running in the rain because I hate being wet if not swimming or bathing and I feel like the snow cheated me today. Usually we're friends but today it's on my not-so-good list.

Also, to the people of Fleet Feet who saw me directly after the run when I drove over to get a hat (that I needed anyway) to cover my hair while we went to Panera, I'm sorry. But I know you understand because you would do it too.

Worst picture of me ever. Ever ever.

And Urban Decay? Your 24/7 Waterproof liquid eyeliner ain't as hearty as you claim. Just sayin.