Perspective

Monday was awful.

Tuesday was worse.

Today was insurmountable.

I was convinced I was going to crack at any minute.

I had an hour car ride between appointments and I cried the entire way. It was THAT awesome of a day.

And then when I finally got home I found a big box containing this:

And also a small box containing this:

The first from a bunch of amazing coworkers and the second from a dear friend.

I cried when I opened it all. Like a baby. Because sometimes I get so caught up in the negatives that I forget to see all the positives around me. And it's not about the gifts (because ALL of it was a complete surprise, I had no idea) but more about knowing that there are people out there who have my back no matter what. That things can seem hard but I truly believe that if life was always easy then we would never appreciate the really good things.

Like today. Love, respect and thoughtfulness in the form of Hello Kitty and wine.

We don't drink a lot of wine 'round these parts but when we do, we like it good.

Just like our friendships.

This is a metaphor.

I love metaphors.

The bun=
- end of the quarter/end of the year
- my mom being gone for my first Christmas ever
- not being able to see Alex again until Friday (almost 2 weeks since the last time)
 - dirty laundry
- dirty car
- dirty house
- expense reports
- cold floors
- student loans
- car troubles
- snow
- etc etc etc.

Me=

well, me.

Here's to hoping the metaphorical bun turns as sweet as the real bun soon.

P90-Ouch

Last night a friend texted me out of the blue and asked if I had P90X and was interested in joining his friend's challenege team. I don't know much about it (literally that's all the info I have) but perhaps this is divine intervention for sending me some motivation? I bought P90X about a year ago with the intention of doing some strength training but then started having heart issues so it took a back burner. Now that it looks like my cardiac region is in a stable place I'm ready to get going with running and general kicking my own ass but it is HARD. Much harder than the first time around. I have a half marathon scheduled for February (in Virginia Beach, I will NOT be running 13.1 miles in 6 degree weather, thankyouverymuch*) but am no where near running 3 miles let alone the 10-15 mile Sunday long runs I was throwing down last year at this time.

I think that the thing holding me back this time around is fear. Have you ever heard the saying, "What could you accomplish if you knew you couldn't fail?". That was me the first time I lost weight and went from semi-sedentary to running every race between 3-13 miles that I could find. This time though it's a little different because I know what I am capable off. I am an awesome human being who can accomplish great physical feats, dammit! But then there is that tiny niggling fear in the back of my brain...what if I can't get there? I can run a mile right now without dying but that's about it. My resting heartrate is still a fabulous 40BPM from being a runner (normal is 60) but let's not talk about what happens to it when I try to pound the pavement. What if I can't get ready for a half marathon while trying to run in the dead of winter? What if, what if what if...

The good news is I am really good at telling myself to shut up. So I'm going to and I'm going to email this girl starting the P90X challenge and see if she wants a weight loss has been on her team. And if she says yes then I will know this is the answer I have been looking for all along: that I CAN.


*I WILL however run 3.1 miles in 6 degree weather but only if there is a chili cookoff at the end. Which is exactly the temperature at last year's Chilly Chili in February and it remains the coldest I am (not so) willing to run in.

I don't know if you know this but...I'm kind of a big deal.

The beauty of making something with your own two hands is that when it comes out wonderfully you can just sit back and bask in the glow of your own awesomeness. There are many times that my crafting endeavors fail or come out looking completely different than I had planned in my head but when they come together in a harmonious explosion of creativity...well that's the kind of things dreams are made of.

The one downfall is that this time I can not claim originality for this bit of crafty awesomesauce. I was perusing my favorite productivity quick sand, Pinterest, this afternoon and came across this tutorial:

http://www.ecabonline.com/2010/04/braided-bead-necklace.html

It was lovely and simple but amazing all at once. I've been getting more into jewelry lately and the turquoise and gold just sang to me. I ran right out to JoAnn Fabrics (and then Hobby Lobby) to collect the necessary bits to make my own (I am not one of those people that pins things that I will never make, I'm usually the opposite and must recreate it right away). Mine isn't "perfect" because I couldn't get findings all in the right shades of gold but I think it still looks fantastic. Behold!

Please disregard my Saturday-crafting-not-looking-so-good self and focus on the beauty of that necklace. I think tomorrow I am going to try rose gold chain with cream beads because when I love something I need it in every color imaginable (refer to shirt above, I have it in 2 other colors).

Just some words to the wise if you choose to use this tutorial: it is pretty straightforward but what it doesn't mention is that tying the knots is the worst part of the project. I think I ruined 3 of 6 strands and had to restring them because of knotting issues. It helps to knot two strands of thread together before putting on your first bead pinch and then put your beads on after that. I also kept a ruler handy to keep the first string of the set on part with 5.5 inches (you could easily make a longer one, I really want to make a full necklace and pin a rhinestone broach to it) and then you can measure your second of the set against that.

Hello!

There is a facebook phenomenon I like to refer to as the "phantom stalkers". You know those people, the ones that scoff that those of us who are "always" on facebook yet can recite everything I have done in the last 6 months clearly outing them as someone who may not post a lot but spends a good amount of time reading what everyone else is doing. One could say those people know what I am doing because I post often but personally I have gone several weeks without checking facebook and have still missed monumental things like pregnancy announcments, wedding photos and trips to a grocery store because someone's husband forgot the milk again! and OMG why do all men forget everything except sports and beer??!?! so I don't believe it.

In the spirit of that I am moving myself over to the blogging world in an effort to save these poor souls whose news feed I so obviously assault*. And to be honest I am aware that I do it and I would love to say it's because I use it to keep track of friends and family because I travel so much (which is true) but if we are honest with ourselves we all know I am an attention hound with no shame in my game.

What am I going to blog about? I don't know. My rabbit, my cat, why I hate broccoli and consider it the food of satan, crafty things that I make and how to do them, weightloss, running, funny things that I see on the road? I'm not sure but I'm excited to see what happens.


*I am totally joking here, I'm starting a blog so that I can talk more and talk often and have a place to post more. But I do find it humerous that these phantom stalkers do exist and I come across them frequently.

**You may notice two older posts before this one from when I started blogging again back in August. I left them because I like them so there's a good preview of what's to come.